Butterflies in Spain

FINALLY 🤩

I didn't sleep very well last night. I love my sleep, so normally I'd be mad about that...but I'm not. Instead, I'm excited, which is why I did not sleep very well. 

The World Cup in Benidorm was amazing! The crowds were loud, the course was fun and dynamic, and most importantly, I had so much fun racing. For the first time this season, I felt like when I was pressing on the pedals, I was moving. All season, I've never really found my top form. It turns out not training for several weeks in the beginning of the fall had repercussions...I stayed positive through it all, but let's be honest: It's not as fun racing when you're not strong enough to compete where you want to be. All season, if I got to a wide pedalling section in races where I saw people in front, I'd always think: "Okay, time to go and pass". Except, it always remained just a thought...every time I would stand up on the bike and try as hard as I could, but nothing happened. I'd pass 1 person if it was a good day. Then, I'd often end up riding alone between two groups. 

But yesterday!!! Yesterday was different, and I was so excited about it that I had a hard time sleeping. 

The race

I won't be complaining about my start position, because: 

1. It is what it is.

2. Gotta earn those points! They aren't free! 

3. The internet is filled with posts of people complaining about their start position. I don't need to add to that. 

4. It IS possible to get to the front quickly. Some people do it often (arg-hmmm Zoe Backstedt is the queen of that!) 

What I will say is this: I will never take a first or second row start for granted. It does, after all, make your life easier. 

Anyway, I had a bad start. It was chaotic, I got stuck, whatever happened, I ended up really f-ing far. Like, 40th-ish far. Somehow, I didn't get flustered. I just got going. The course was very fast, with many turns and many changes of surfaces. It looked easy on TV, but it wasn't. Going fast on that course, while staying safe, was very tricky. All the turns provided opportunities to pass, so I tried to use them wisely. Take inside corner, pass one person. Sand section: FULL GAS running. Pass another. Sprint into the corner and cut inside, pass 2 people. All I was doing was looking for opportunities to pass and go for it. Then, I got on the wide asphalt climb and saw a sea of people 🤩. "It's my chance". I went fast and was able to pass a lot of people at once. And then again as I gave another surge in the second hill in the woods. The race was very much like intervals...whereas some course are more like a long continuous effort, this one was really FULL GAS or RELAX. 

At some point (I have no idea which of the 7 laps), I got on the asphalt and as I looked up, saw the World Champion Jersey, some 777 jerseys, and a Baloise Lion. "OMG. I have not seen those all damn season!" Dave yelled this was the big group to 6th, so I got to work on the chase. 

Eventually, my friend Helene Clauzel and I bridged the gap and joined the group. When we joined it was a group from 9th to 15th. I tried to just go by and keep chasing, but it was then very difficult to drop this group. It became a tactical game. And oh was it fun! 

With one lap to go, our group of 7-8 riders were all together. Passes and small attacks were made left and right. I was fully focused and felt confident. On the paved climb, we all looked at each other, so much so that Marie Schreiber caught up and attacked all of us. It was ON! Only Helene, Marianne Vos, and I followed the attack. I went around Marie at the topo before entering the woods. I was 3rd wheel. On the second climb, I attacked and passed Helene and Vos. I knew if I got in the technical section first and rode fast enough, it was hard to pass. Only Vos followed. The 2 of us had a gap. How would I beat the GOAT? She passed me around the barriers. I got back on the bike really quickly and closed the gap. She was trying to put pressure on me. Only 3 turns left. She got on the pavement and swooooopppp. She slipped and fell. I barely had time to get around her. I crossed the line in 9th. It's unfortunate we didn't get to battle until the end, but luckily she is okay and that's part of racing. Good on her for pushing the limit and taking risk. It's not secret why she won so many races: She isn't afraid to lose (or to take risks)! Chapeau. 

Crossing the line, I was so happy with my race. That was the most satisfying 9th place I ever got! 

All in for worlds

David and I came to train in Calpe, Spain after the Zonhoven World Cup. We've been here for two weeks now. When we arrived, we made a plan. As I said, I did not feel "extra-world-cup-winning-fit" all season. But, for a disaster of a season impacted by health issues, we still managed to do better than I expected. So with 3 weeks until Worlds, what did we have to lose? 

I could keep doing what I was doing, and have a similar average performance. Or, I could go all in with the training, and try to squeeze every ounce of fitness we could until Worlds. The second strategy could have 2 outcomes: I get sick and do worse, or I get fitter and we try for a big results. 

We chose option 2. It would of course have been easier to choose option 1, but also what would have been the point... We'll see what happens at Worlds, but at least I'll have no regrets. And so far, it's been paying off. And let me tell you, I hadn't had that much fun racing in a LONG time. And that, my friends, is motivating and exciting!! 

Muchas Gracias Benidorm! 
Finally, just a quick note to mention just how cool the event was! Over 15 000 fans came, the event was flawless, the sun was shining, and each and every races was exciting! Way to go UCI for bringing the World Cup to Spain. Hear more about the event on the latest Muddy Mondays podcast. 

We're in Spain a few more days and then we drive to Besançon in France for the last World Cup of the season! 

Zonhoven World Cup

Have you ever had the great idea of ridding your bicycle through sand?

The feeling is hard to describe. Your front wheel wants to dig into the sand. Your bike moves under you in unpredictable ways, and if you pedal too hard your rear wheel digs a hole in which you get stuck instead of moving forward. If you’ve ever experienced running in deep sand, where it feels like when you propel yourself forward, half of the energy gets sucked by the sand and you’re not moving….well imagine the same feeling but now you also have to carry a bike with you for fun! And you’re wearing rigid cycling shoes.

Sounds like great fun, doesn’t it?

Here’s the thing though…yes, ridding in sand can be a nightmare. But at the same time, when you get the hang of it, even for just a handful of seconds, it’s one of the best feelings you can get on a bike! If you manage to hit a corner and ride a sandy rut and you feel your bike gripping and propelling you forward…WHOOO! Or when you come in with speed in a flat section and you manage to power your way over the sand…or when you go downhill quickly and feel like you are floating over it. One of the best feelings a bike can give you!

The only problem? For me, these good feelings are still too few and far between. Between each moment of ecstasy of good sand skills execution, I unfortunately manage 2 or 3 small mistakes where my rhythm gets sucked and momentum gets interrupted.

The iconic Zonhoven course

Zonhoven, where the World Cup was happening this weekend, is one of the most iconic cyclocross race course. The arena looks like a giant sand bowl, with big sand descents and climbs, with thousand of spectators gathering in the bowl to watch the show. The view is spectacular. As a racer, you can hear the roar of the crowd, and the OOOOHHHH and AAHHHH hinting at both moments of glory, or glorious crashes from various racers around you.

I mentioned earlier the nightmarish or the ecstatic feelings of riding in sand. I experienced both this weekend. After my first lap of pre-ride on the eve of the race, I was both terrorized and felt like I couldn’t ride a bike. I stayed positive, took my time to evaluate the demands of the course, and focused on my technique. Eventually, after 3-4 laps, my dread had turned to enjoyment. By the time I pre-rode for a last time before the start of the race, I felt like I could actually perform here. I liked the course and felt conformable on it. I felt ready.

Searching for that extra gear

Starting on the 4th row, I struggled getting through traffic on the first lap. It was chaos. I then passed some people one by one, going absolutely as fast as I could and riding the sand sections as cleanly as I could. I would pass one, then make a mistake and get passed again…and this happened back and forth for about 3 laps. Then, I found myself alone between two groups. Each lap I focused on transitions and execution and I felt like I got exponentially more experienced at everyone of the 6 laps of the race.

In the end, I finished 19th. Not great, not terrible. I think this describes well the “sand rider" I am…not great, not terrible. I did the best I could and can’t be disappointed by that. I found a way to enjoy this beast of a course and to ride it somewhat well and I’m proud of my sand riding progression. But at the same time, I’d like to do better. Some of the girls at the front were SO good…so much that only 24 out of the 64 racers finished on the same lap as the winner. To be honest, knowing how hard it is to ride well in the sand, I can only appreciate the artistry and athleticism that they were displaying. A true work of art I will keep working hard to learn. 

David asked me : "If this race comes back in the calendar next year, would you decide to do it or go to Spain a week earlier to train?". It turns out, I would be glad to try it again. I did, in fact, enjoy it. 

We are now in the camper, driving the 17 hours to Spain where we will spend the next 2.5 weeks. I’m definitely lacking a bit of spark right now in my fitness, and I hope that I can find that extra gear from training hard in the sunshine of Spain. I'm also looking forward to the next races we have ahead. Riding in the sand is a special beast, so much that at times, it doesn't feel like a normal bike race. This is the beauty of cyclocross, but at the same time, I have to say I'm excited to race a more "normal" bike race again. I felt great after Herentals on Tuesday and I look forward to another pure bike race again soon. 

Meanwhile, Mia Dog is excited to go to the ocean…and she thinks she could have easily won the race in the sand. She has no problem going full speed in a sandy off camber descent. She only wonders why the hell we were trying to go down on a bicycle?

Superpowers? Fun times in Herentals

Super power! 

Last year, I did a podcast series on the menstrual cycle so I could educate myself as well as normalize talking about the subject. One of the things I learned is that our menstrual cycle, if we get to know and work with it, can become our super power. 

Well, yesterday, I woke up before the race in Herentals to find out it was my special time of the month. I get the whole superpower thing; one of the things professionals say is that the day our period starts is the moment where our hormones are the most similar to male hormones, which technically means your body is ready to perform...superpower! Well, let me tell you, when your belly is cramping, your back hurts and your legs feel super heavy, you don't exactly feel like saving the world! At least not me...In fact, on that day every month, all l feel like doing is being at my house, curled up in a ball and drinking hot chocolate while contemplating the fact that I should probably start building a family. 

BUT!  I have learned that the superpower comes when you get to KNOW and WORK with your cycle...which is what I've been trying to do over the last year. So I woke up and got to work: foam roller on legs and lower back to flush, longer warm up on the roller to allow my legs to feel less heavy, etc. And this whole feeling of wanting to curl up in a ball with hot chocolate, a warm blanket and babies at my feet? Well I can't kid myself. This couldn't be further from what I was actually about to do: 55min of FULL GAS racing in the cold, mud, and sand, while pushing through the pain in your lungs and legs with 60 other women battling each other. 

But here is the thing: I've learned that these thoughts (of comfort and family and being home) are not my own. That's not what I actually want. They are kind of instinctive and ALWAYS come to me at that time of the month. I used to think they were true and that I probably was ready to stop racing. Now, I know it's my body talking. And THAT my friends, is the true superpower: Knowing that I have CONTROL over these thoughts. Knowing that the true me is actually excited to race.

That said, aware that I was riding this fine line of falling in the trap of my hormones VS getting in a mindset ready to fight, I went to work. I dug into my race strategies and the key execution points I had written down for myself. I talked race tactics with Dave. I followed my schedule to the T and did not look at my phone. I made sure to smile, and to engage and chat with positive people, to immerse myself in a good vibe. And I kept constantly reminding myself of my key execution tips for the race. 

And guess what: It WORKED. 

Honest performance 

I absolutely love the course in Herentals. I raced it twice and it might be my favorite course on the Belgian circuit. It is both fast and technical, it has a bit of everything. 

I knew that the race would be fast today and that I needed to be extra on top of my accelerations out of corners if I wanted to be able to follow wheels. I also knew the start would be crucial. We had two short stretches of pavements before turning left into a long and deep puddle of mud that everyone would run...leading us to some really fast riding sections. Now, you can know the start is crucial. Executing it perfectly through that fast chaos is another order...after all, every person on the start line has the same godamn plan!

We got through a clean start and here I was. I still have the vison in my head: Running ankle deep in the mud, trying to make my way through people, then looking up and seeing some riders already riding away, while I was stuck behind people and bikes, still ankle deep in the mud. When I finally got back on the bike, there was an urgency to move to the front FAST. That's what I set out to do, but I never made connection with the front group. They were already gone. 

After that, I actually had a great time. I felt very focused and had something to put my attention to at every section of the course. I felt lie I was executing both my movements, accelerations, and my general plan pretty well. I was chasing Leonie Bentveld and Blanka Vas for most of the race. Exchanging places with Leonie and coming very close but never quite making contact with Blanka. 

Cyclocross is fun

In the end, I crossed the line in 8th place in a strong field. Of course, I would love to be battling for the podium. I think it's okay to want more, but I also have to be realistic and honest with myself. Yesterday was a great performance, and a very honest one. For the form I have now, this was really the best I could do. And this is something I can be proud of. 

I'm also happy I used my "super power" and didn't let my instinctive and hormonal vibes ruin the day. 

In the end, it was actually a really fun day! I connected with a lot of people, the fans were crazy, I did a strong race...and most of all, I had so much fun racing and pushing myself. 

It is cool to realize that I can still find a lot of fun out of this sport even when I'm not at the very top of my game. 

I truly do have the CX Fever. 

Happy New Year from Baal

29 years old and still learning! 

Sometimes, when I pre-ride a race course, I like to try some lines really fast to find out what is my speed limit. My thinking is: I'd rather find out the limit in pre-ride when there are no consequences, than trying to go to fast in the race and crash out. Additionally, it sometimes gives me confidence to ride fast as it gives good feelings and makes me feel ready for the race. 

In theory, this can make sense. However, this thinking might also be rooted in insecurity. And as much as that strategy has helped me in the past, it can also backfire...which is what happened at the Gavere World Cup on Dec. 26th. In short, I tried a descent really fast, lost control, went straight into the wooden pole of the barrier, and flipped over my bars. 

In the moment, it didn't hurt too bad. My hamstring was hurting a bit and walking was hard, but I thought it was only because the hit was still fresh. I went on to do my warm up and was excited to race. I had a decent start and felt good, but as soon we hit the first running section, I instantly knew something was wrong. I tried to see if by warming up the pain would vanish, but it wasn't. I wasn't able to run and I felt like if I ran, I'd make things worse. Within a lap, I pulled out of the race. 

David was telling me that a certain personality trait that we have can both be a strenght and  hold us back at the same time. Sometimes, being fearless can be a strenght, but if you don't tame it, it can sometimes have consequences. In that particular scenario, I should have taken a minute to evaluate the demands of the race. Is this race going to be won by taking a risk on a descent? In that case, it wasn't. The course was so heavy and muddy and slow, that winning or losing a second in a descent made close to no difference. Lesson learned. 

I then spent a few days on the mend, skipping some of the kerstperiod races. 

We sat down with Trek Factory racer Madigan Munro to discuss her experience at the Gavere World Cup. She is a young but very mature racer and had a ton of interesting insights. You can listen to the episode my clicking the link below. 

Happy new year!

I was able to ride with my injury so I didn't loose too much training, and although I had a brief period of being bummed out, I quickly switched my focus to the races in Baal and Herentals on the 1st and 3rd of January. 

I had a good race in Baal at the GP Sven Nys! I was excited to be here and felt good. It was a heavy and super tough race, but physically and technically. We went for 55 minutes, which is a long race! 

On the first lap, I battled for positions and was slowly making my way up into the top 6-10 after a chaotic start. Then, I crashed in a descent and lost contact with Clara and Zoe Backstedt, and got passed by a few people I had just managed to get in front of.  I then passed those people again and had a god battle with Maddie Munro for a few laps. To be honest though, I don't have much else to say about the race! It was mostly a solo endeavour at that point...I couldn't see anyone in front and anyone behind, so I focused on doing each section as well as I could and push hard to create as much speed as possible. 

I finished 9th, tired, but happy to be back racing and proud of my effort! 

Back at it tomorrow!

Tomorrow, we go back again for another round in Herentals! 

So today is all about recovering, doing an easy ride and getting our stuff ready for tomorrow. 

Happy new years to all :) 

Mia dog did not enjoy the Dutch tradition of going absolutely crazy with the fireworks! So she opted to stay home on New years day to catch up on her sleepy instead of coming to Baal.

Back to the World Cup in Val di Sole

Racing in the snow

• "Super fun”.

• “It’s hard: stay relaxed, breathe deeply. It’s not faster to go full gas, it’s faster to keep moving.”

• “Loose upper body, light on handlebars.”

• “Try to float over : weight back, pedal hard, look far ahead.”

Those are the notes I wrote to myself after the pre-ride on Friday. The temperature had been around 3 degrees Celsius, and the snow was LOOSE. It felt like riding in sand. It was slow-going, you had to pedal really hard to keep moving, and the conditions were not very slippery. You could really get into the ruts at full speed to rip into the corners.

I liked these conditions. As hard as it was, I felt like I was riding pretty well in that deep snow and I felt confident with my chances if the race looked like that.

Fast forward 12 hours.

We woke up Saturday morning and suddenly, the temps had dropped to -10 Celsius. They were calling for a high of 0C during the day. We got on course for the 30min window pre-ride before the race, and the course could not have been different. They had groomed most to the course and it had frozen overnight. Suddenly, what had been a slow grind technical course became a super fast snowy highway…and an ice rink in some places. The run-up became a rideable climb. Everything was different. In some way, the course became easier, but at the same time, I finished the pre-ride and I had crashed at least 4 times hard.

My first thought was: “It will melt and get back to yesterday’s conditions”. This, I believe, was my insecurity talking. It was wishful thinking. I had felt so good and confident yesterday, and now, I felt like this course became more rideable for everyone and that I had suddenly lost my edge. Luckily, I caught myself pretty quickly. “Stop telling yourself stories Magh. This is was the race will be like. It is not getting any warmer. Adapt, and find a way to make this work.”

Calm through chaos

So I got to work focusing on how to approach the race. I decided the best way forward was to stay in control, go fast when I could, be safe enough to not crash all over the place, but be fierce enough to make passes. Calm was my main key word. Just before the start, as we were already lined up, I also reminded myself to stay aware, so I could react quickly to chaos around me.

The race started and I didn’t have a stellar start. It was clean, I clipped in quickly, but I wasn’t able to move up much. However, as we got to the top of the pavement before the first right-hand turn into the snow, I knew everyone would take it wide. So I stay inside and cut the turn. Already I passed some people. Then, in the second corner, I knew people might crash (I had myself ate shit at that exact spot in the pre-ride). As predicted, people crashed, but luckily I saw it coming and was able to get around.

The whole race, I was super calm. There was chaos everywhere around but I remained calm. Riders crashed in front of me, I crashed a few times, I passed some people and I got passed. In the cold, if you get panicky, it’s really hard to keep breathing, and I knew this from my poor performance at Essen last week. So being calm was key for me, every time I was descending, I was breathing deeply. If it climbed, I pedalled as hard as I could. Quickly, I found myself in 5th place. Then, I passed Manon Bakker and was in 4th. We exchanged position a few times, but when I made a mistake (while trying to bridge the gap to her) and crashed into a fence, she got a bigger gap on me. The gap fluctuated from 15 to 6 seconds, but I could never quite close it.

This course was tricky. If you went too fast, it became easy to crash, and you can’t really stand up on your bike and do a full gas attack in the snow, so I was never able to do one huge sprint to fully catch up to her. On the last lap, we suddenly saw 3rd position in sight; Silvia Persico from Italy. I clearly remembered how great it had felt to finish on the podium at that event last year, so I tried all I could to get there. Through the loud sounds of Jai! Vai! Vai! and chain saw motor from the Italian fans, the battle was on. Manon Bakker caught up to Silvia and as she did, Silvia crashed on the last corner…I got up to her as she jumped back on her bike on the pavement and we had a full on sprint for 4th place. Photo finish!

Slowing down to go faster

3 months ago, I pulled out of the race in Rochester. I decided then to put a pause to my season because I had been dealing with health issues and I was mentally struggling as well. It was a really low point for me. At that point, I decided that if I was to come back, I wanted to come back better. I’d use this crisis to address weaknesses I hadn’t addressed in a while, I wanted to work better and not more. I wanted to go back to the basics of fine tuning my craft. And I didn’t know then if I’d be able to do any races this season.

Val di Sole was the 10th round of the Cyclocross World Cup. Personally, it was my first World Cup. I came because I felt ready. It took me some time to get to a point where I felt ready enough to toe the line, it took some patience, and it took for me to change how I approach work, too accept that more wasn’t always better, and to know when it was time to actually dig deep and do more. It took a team that I’m so grateful to have the chance to work with and trust.

It’s no surprise then that I was so happy to be here in Val di Sole. I really enjoyed the pre-ride, I loved tinkering about how to dress and prepare my equipment for the cold, I loved figuring out how to go fast in these conditions. I enjoyed spending these moments with David and our friends Caitlin and Franz Bernstein. And I absolutely loved being on that start line; after not being able to toe the line in months, I really did not take this for granted.

In the end, I just freaking love this crazy sport and it felt like a privilege to be back racing at the highest level. Finishing 5th and having a great day on the bike was just the cherry on top!

This good result gives us momentum for the future, I know there is more for me to gain in terms of fitness and strength, and I’m excited for the work ahead, but this gives me confidence that I’m on the right path.

Thank you to everyone who helped me get back to this point. And thanks to the Italians who welcomed us warmly, with loud cheering and chainsaw motor noises pushing us to ride harder!

Now let’s keep going!

Ciao my friends.