Not a piece of cake

Have you ever felt like you wanted a second chance?

Take cake, for example. 

You know when you find a super special recipe and decide to take on the challenge because it's your best friend's birthday and you know he/she loves cake SO MUCH? This isn't your typical cake, it's a multiple days affair. But you really want to get it right, because it's for a special occasion. So 3 days ahead of time, you fully dedicate yourself to that cake. You buy all the ingredients, read the recipe at least 4 times and start with the first step. The next day, you keep going with the other step. For 3 days, basically all you do is mix, wait, bake, cool, mix something else, wait a little more, let it rise, let it fall, let it cool, bake it, poke it, smell it, etc. It's quite the process, but you've been following the recipe to the degree, to the second, to the 0.1 of a gram. 

Birthday finally arrives. It's C day! Cake day! At last. You bake it, wait, and finally, serve it with its candles and the birthday song. You are excited. Your friend seems so happy. You cut the cake, serve it, take a bite... The first taste seems promising. You finally swallow. 

And then...? 

Meh. 

It’s a good cake. But it’s missing a little something. There is no spark, no particularly amazing or special taste. It is just an okay cake and it's kind of dry. 

Disappointed is not quite the emotion you are feeling. You’re still happy you are there with your friend, happy to finally taste that damn cake. But you are definitely not thrilled. All you can think is: What the F*** went wrong? Perhaps, puzzled is the predominant emotion you are feeling. 

You kind of feel like you could try again, because you know it could be much better and it seems like you did everything right. Why doesn't it taste better? Where did I mess up?

***

Well, that’s a little bit how I feel about my race at the World Championships. Except that  the preparation lasted a lot longer than 3 days and it involved a lot more people and a lot more ressources than making a cake. My first reaction was to ask myself: "What happened?" I wasn't too sure and I kind of wished I could do it again…Maybe then I wouldn't make as many stupid mistakes? 

But obviously that is not possible.

I feel like the preparation we did coming into the race was really good. My fitness was good, I felt great on the bike and on the course during the week, and most importantly, my mindset was really positive and focused. I had an amazing start, my legs were feeling good, I made some good passes and found myself in 4th. At that point, I was calm. But I was not riding well and I was making a lot of mistakes. Throughout the race, I never quite figured out how to ride the course correctly or how to be efficient on it. I was either trying too hard, or being too tentative. I was running when I should’ve been riding and was trying to ride when maybe I should’ve been running. At some point, I wasn't that calm anymore and that was not helping me make better decisions. 

Minutes before the start. Ready to go! Photo by Anton Vos

Did a bit too much of that... 

Photo by Ralph Samson

The course was brutal, but it was still really fun to try to figure out. 

And although I am not happy about my race, I am somehow not devastated either. I’ve been devastated about bad races before, but this time feels different. It’s not like I wasn’t trying; I just wasn’t good enough on that day, on that course, in those conditions. I just feel like I came up short and I so wish I could have another shot and try again. 

I guess that’s the whole point about the World Championships, though. There is no second chance. This race comes once a year and it is the biggest, most important, most prestigious of all (except maybe for the Olympics, but that doesn’t exist in cyclocross). At worlds, everyone has the same goal. We all want to win. So everybody shows up with their most complete tool case, their best preparation, their energy tanks filled to the fullest, and their greatest hopes.  We all fight for the same thing and only 1 person comes out on top.

And I guess that’s the beauty of it all. It’s okay that there isn’t a second chance, because it wouldn’t be as special. It’s also probably the reason why I love World Championships so much and why I always feel so grateful to be a part of it.

About 4:21 minutes slower than I would have wanted to... Cool photo from Ralph Samson

Last year I had a great race at Worlds and finished 5th. People ask me if that result affected me, coming into the Worlds this time around. The answer is that it did and it didn’t. It gave me the confidence to believe that I can be up there battling with the best in the world. But did it give me expectations?  No. I wasn’t thinking about any of that before the race on Saturday. Finishing 5th at Worlds is something I achieved last year, and no matter what happened this weekend, it wouldn’t change anything to the fact that I have achieved it. I was never trying to repeat something I have done before. Each race is new and different and represents an opportunity to see what is the best that I can do. The 2017 Worlds was a very special day for me and I often think about it because I want to relive that incredible feeling of fulfillment and joy again, and chasing that feeling is one of my biggest source of inspiration. But “repeating” is not on my mind, because I know that no matter what I do, it will always be different.

So as I am flying home this morning, I am feeling a little bit “meh” about my race, but I am also proud and happy. We had a lot of fun in the preparation process and I feel like we learned a ton. Learned about how to race in Europe, and learned more about how to prepare for big events. I’m also happy I got to experience another world championships and share it with some of my favorite people.

I’ll finish this off by saying thank you to those wonderful peeps. You all know who you are, so thank you for being there, for helping me be the best I can, for sharing those moments with me, for supporting me... And simply, thank you all for being you, because your presence/support on every single day of the year make everything that much better and so much more worth it!

I sure hope #crossiscoming soon, because I already can't wait to give it another shot at next year's Worlds in Denmark. But for now, it’s time to take some time off and eat some good cake...if only I can nail that recipe.  

Thank you for cheering, everyone! 

Maghs 

Pre riding on course all week with Katerina was really fun. The conditions were constantly changing. 

Pre riding. 

After the last pre-ride. Some of us are more pro than others! Nevertheless, we were both very excited to race the next day. 

What the course conditions look like. Not exactly easy to navigate on a bike or on foot. The spectators showed great dedication that weekend. Also, those boots were awesome - Quinn model from Bogs Footwear. 

A sea of spectators. CRAYYYY-Z.  

Always mind blowing to see the amount of people attending the Euro cross races. It was fun to get to watch the mens race with friends and family. 

Teamwork, once again. Gary helping us clean up after a good cheering session during the men's race. 

The day after Worlds. No mater hoe it goes, life goes on and you gotta pack it up.
In this sport, nothing is possible alone. From training, to sharing ideas, to prepping bikes, to massage, to grocery, laundry, keeping a chill vibe, sharing your concerns, etc. Here is a team packing session. Thanks to everyone on my big team for making it all so much better. 

On laundry.

3 days to go before we hit the start at the Valkenburg Worlds. The work has been done and now the rides are short and it's time to rest. Which means, there is a lot of time to kill this week.

3 days...I am so excited that I worry my eyeballs will pop out of my skull.

So I'm trying hard to keep my cool here. 

Luckily, I have good company to help me do just that. No one wants to see one of my eyeball rolling around on the ground. So instead, we just chill. We relax, stretch, read, watch movies, think, talk, nap, drink tea, and all that good stuff.  

That being said, I decided to put some thoughts on paper... 

Todays thoughts had to do with a very exciting subject...Laundry! 

_____________

Laundry.

It’s a basic activity. A weekly chore that we take care of without really giving it much thought. One of those things you just got to do.

Nowadays, washing our clothes is seen as a necessity, in a world where, strangely, or perhaps rightly so, nudity is not very well accepted by society, and where hygiene standards are so high. 

Sometimes I think that walking around naked would be so simple… I wonder how people would express themselves, their style, and their personality if we didn’t have clothes? Would there me more or less judgment of others?

Who knows!

But then again, in the cold European climate, it could be problematic. And I’m sure I would always be dreading the long hours in the saddle. Actually, the short hours wouldn’t be much better. Even worse in muddy or sandy races…Ouch. Just awful. Come to think of it, let’s all keep our clothes on! Maybe society is on to something after all.

Back to laundry…Quite honestly, to me, doing laundry is kind of therapeutic. It puts order into my life, it clears my thoughts, makes me feel more organized. Especially when we are travelling. I make it a point that my suitcase stays relatively organized. It hasn’t always been the case (ask my teammates and my mom), but I’ve learned. It’s a question of respect. Resect for my roommates, but also respect for myself. How can I possibly have clear thoughts if I’m living in a tornado of dirty, unfolded, disparate clothes? How can I make it on time somewhere if it takes me 13 minutes to find a glove? How can I possibly be happy and positive if every time I need to get dressed I spend 15 minutes being pissed because I can’t find what I’m looking for?

Maybe I’m just anal. That’s very possible. But I find a strangely satisfying pleasure and profound calmness in folding my clothes and reorganizing my bag every few days.

Yet, when travelling, laundry can be a challenge. In Europe, most hotels don’t have Laundromats. A trip to the closest city, or a handwash in the bath is often required. In muddy conditions, dressed up showers (or pre-wash) before heading out to the Laundromat is the name of the game. Your hotel room often transforms into a giant clothes hanger. 

Weirdly enough, I kind of like all that. It’s satisfying to take care of your stuff and so nice when you get to wear something clean the next day. It makes preparing for the training ride just that much more awesome, and easier. But it’s an ongoing process that truly never fully stops, except for the few hours following the trip to the Laundromat where everything is just at its basic state; clean, fresh, folded, organized…until the next training ride comes along!

 I’ve got some hanging and folding to do now. Cheers :) 

Waiting for the dryer.

Laundry-ing. Side note: Waldek is awesome. Yesterday, he went in town and did all the laundry for use while we watched a movie. THANK YOU! (Meanwhile, Scott was washing bikes...we are such princesses...) 

Train trip to the city. Just another laundry trip! 

Wasbar. The coolest laundromat ever. Coffee shop/laundromat in Ghent, Belgium. 

Sippin' on beer, lemonade, and coffee! The Wasbar has it all while you are waiting for your clothes to dry. 

We walked around beautiful Ghent after cleaning our clothes.

Cool looking buildings.

How do you see the glass?

Sometimes I think people tend to look at things closer when they lose than when they win. At least, that’s what I do.

When we win or when something goes really well, we don’t take much time to evaluate exactly what happened and why it happened. There is stuff under the rug that we ignore, because at first glance, since the result was good, it seems like, and it feels like, all went well. But when you suffer a real setback, you want to know all the reasons why - so that it will never happen again.

The whole trip to Europe that just ended with the World Cup in Heusden-Zolder was a big setback for me. If I’m honest, not many things went well, actually…

But there are always many ways to look at something. Some people like to see the glass half-full, and some prefer to see it half-empty. I usually fall into the first category; always trying to find the positive in every situation...I guess it must come from my dad who is Mister Optimistic in person. This time, however, I choose to look at the glass differently; the way Georges St-Pierre sees it. Simply, I choose to see that the glass has reached half of its capacity. That’s it. No emotion, no interpretation. Just a fact: the glass is filled halfway through.

Looking at the facts and leaving the emotions behind is the only way for me to really learn and see the situation for what is really is. It’s simply the truth.

So here are a few facts about this trip: I was unprepared for the first race (not physically, but racing-wise it was a shock), I got sick the day after the first race and stayed sick for the rest of the trip, I was disorganized, my travel plans were too ambitious, tiring and complicated, I got bored, I missed my family on Christmas, I had very bad results at all 3 races, etc.

 Now that the facts have been stated, though, I can choose to look at them in many ways. The easy way would be to look at it as a series of unfortunate situations that happened. In that scenario, I would feel sorry for myself for being sick and for having bad races. I would get discouraged, use the “f**k it” attitude, eat all the pastries that I so deeply want to eat, and subconsciously put less effort into my preparation for the next block of racing.

The other way is to take responsibility for what happened, and learn from it.  Ask myself some questions and find answers as to why things happened the way they did, and how can I make sure they don’t happen again. Why did I get sick? What did I do wrong? How can I prevent to be sick next time that I am travelling? How can I organize myself better? How can I plan my next trip more intelligently? How can I feel more “race ready” when I come next time? Etc.

Honestly, the first option seems very tempting in the heat of the moment, when all the croissants are looking at me and I’m kind of bummed about my results. But I know it would lead nowhere… Actually, I know very well that it would lead to even poorer performances and grater disappointments. So with the help of David, we made a decision: We would eat one pastry and then take responsibility for what happened and start working on the next block of racing.

While talking about it, we found some great solutions and interesting ideas for future trips. And as much as I make it sound like it was a nightmare of a trip, I’m actually very glad and thankful for it. Every opportunity to do one of these super strong European races is such a great experience. If you give it your all, there is no way to not grow from every one of these races.

In Zolder, for example I truly had a great time... And so did I in Namur and St-Niklaas. Actually, the races, even if my results weren't good, were definitely the highlights of the trip! 

Here's a quick recap of Zolder: 

•  Start. Spun out, loose a few spots. "Stay calm." Zig-zag my way towards the front. Sitting in the top 20.
• Crash in front of me. Not fast enough to get around. People are running in the wrong direction.
• Unclip, get around, get going again.
• Find myself on the ground, still clipped in. People ride on and over me. “Shit. This is not ideal.”
• Get going again. “I am very far back now.” (I was somewhere in the 50s)
• Feel flat. Not moving up as much as I want.
• “Here we go again... no power!" 
• About 2 seconds later, I decide to give myself a pep talk: “Okay negative Nancy. Stop it. Think about all the hours spent waiting in the hotel room, only being excited about this race. Now it’s finally happening, so make it the most of it!”
• The pep talk worked. Luckily, we are still in the first 3 min of the race.
• Still feeling flat but really digging deep and making all kinds of cool passes.
• Having so much fun.
• Hear David telling me to keep passing people. “I’m on it!”
• Making good decision. Totally focused and into it. This is fun. 
• Hear Thomas and Milo cheer for me – Extra motivation! (Thomas and Milo are two super cool kids from a wonderful family that we met during the trip!)
• Keep passing people. Final lap – sprint on the final stretch and catch a group on the line (while someone else passes me) but not enough time to pass the group.  Finish 26th.
• THAT WAS SO FUN! Chit chat with David, Thomas and Milo at the finish.

I had never had that much fun or that good of a race for finishing that far back. The level of the field at the CX races is really strong right now and you absolutely need to bring you’re A game if you want to be competitive. I really did the best I could with what I had on that day, and I guess you can’t ask for more. I was honestly happy after the race, even if I’m ultimately aiming for a better result…it was still a good performance.

Another thing I’m happy about is that I didn’t let the fact that I was sick play negative tricks on my mind. Before hand, I didn’t want to let myself be mentally affected by the sickness by giving myself an excuse, so I’m really proud that I didn’t do that and that I was still able to give all I have.  
In the end, it wasn’t the best of trips, but I think there is a lot to take from it that can help me for the next time I go to Europe. I’m now off to Tucson to get healthy and train hard to be as ready as I can for the final block of racing in January.

As the saying goes, no matter how well or how badly things are going, you just have to “chop wood and carry water”. In other words, keep doing what you have to do, with your best effort. And frankly, I think that’s all you can really do, anyway.

Cheers everyone!

Hello you ghost! 

Photo by Anton Vos. 

"iiihhhhhh" Photo by Anton Vos.

One of the coolest thing about riding in Belgium is that you can follow the bike paths (each of them has a number, so you can just follow the number) and sometimes it brings you on awesome dirt roads across farms. 

We went to the beach for a race on December 23rd. Merry Christmas! 

A gigantic ball. 

Eva showing us how it's done: Eating a sandwich, while signing an autograph, while cooling down on the rollers just minutes after finishing 3rd in the World Cup. 

"I'd like to have a small beer please." 

Namur World Cup

"My hunger is for excellence, not for success. Because when you attain excellence, success just naturally follows" - Mike Krzyzewski a.k.a Coach K. 

Well, that is a very fine quote.

I did not exactly attain excellence this weekend at the World Cup in Namur...much less did I attain success. But somehow, I still had a great time and felt like it was a very good return to racing. 

I hadn't raced since the Continental Championships about 5-6 weeks ago, and I found that I was a bit rusty during the race. We had done a lot of really good training, but my racing mindset  and aggressiveness were lacking. I was slow at making decisions, and made a lot of mistakes. Actually, I felt like I was always reacting too late to what was happening around me, rather than being calm, anticipate, and prepare my moves. 

I was soon reminded that this is not how you perform in a World Cup, where all 64 women lining up all want the same thing, at the same time, and have no mercy. 

In the end, after many crashes and even more passing mistakes, I ended up 32nd, which is not even close to where I would like to finish...But I have to keep Coach K's advice in mind. I am not chasing success, I am chasing excellence. Which, if you think about it, is pretty awesome because the quest never stops. 

The good thing is that now I know that when I am coming to Europe for some cyclocross races, it can be a very good idea to arrive earlier and do some smaller races before jumping into a World Cup; especially if I haven't raced at home in a while.

Looking back, I sure am a bit disappointed, mostly because I felt like we had really nailed the preparation so it was hard to see that it didn't really pay off for this particular race. However, there are more races to come and all the training and preparation I have done has still been done; it's still in the bag, no matter how good or bad this race has gone. Also, I actually had quite a good time during the race, because the course is so amazing. My favorite parts were the very steep, muddy, and fast descents that all had a fun corner at the bottom. It put a smile on my face every time I was going down one of them. I also liked the off camber traverse, which was really slippery and had many different "ruts" in it. It was a challenge every lap, and it was constantly changing, so a line that had been good the previous lap could be tricky the next one. It literally "kept you on your toes" the whole time. 

I watched that race on TV countless times and always dreamed of riding/racing that course...Well, it was even better and even more fun than I had imagined it. 

On that note, I will be back, Namur. And I'm already looking forward to it :) 

Cheers, 

Maghalie 

Pre riding excitement. Eva showed me all the tips and tricks, which was awesome! 

When racing cyclocross in Belgium, washing and drying your clothes (often in the bathtub) between training sessions is almost a full time job! 

Aftermath of the race

Very nice meeting Soraya and Bea at the race! Big fans of CLIF Pro Team

Lots of time spent drinking tea here :) 

Interesting way of doing hot chocolate in Bruxelles!

We indulged in one of those delicious hot chocolate while visiting Bruxelles

Bruxelles

I don't know anything about architecture, but the buildings in Bruxelles are pretty stunning. It's insipiring to see the details in the buildings and think about the effort the artist put into making them, hundreds of years ago.

Nouvelles du mois de Novembre: Un petit pas vers l'arrière...

Faire un pas vers l’arrière aujourd’hui, pour pouvoir faire deux pas vers l’avant demain…du moins, c’est ce que j’espère!

C’est la stratégie que David et moi avons décidé d’employer pour préparer le restant de la saison de cyclocross. Après les championnats Pan Américains qui avaient lieu au début de Novembre, j’étais fatiguée et mon corps ne répondais plus quand je lui demandais de travailler fort. Toutefois, j’avais prévu voyager en Europe dans les semaines qui suivaient pour participer à deux compétitions. Initialement, ce voyage m’avait semblé être un tremplin positif vers l’atteinte de mes objectifs de fin de saison. Maintenant, toutefois, tout ce que je pouvais voir, c’était le “flat” en plein visage que j’allais recevoir si je décidais de sauter de ce tremplin en voyageant de l'autre côté de l'Atlantique.

Nous avons donc décidé de changer le plan et de prendre une petite semaine de congé afin de partir le prochain mois d’entrainement sur de bonnes bases. Ce fût décevant de mettre une croix sur ce voyage et ces courses. Lorsqu’on planifie quelque chose quelques mois à l'avance, on y réfléchit et on croit toujours que ce sera la meilleure option. Mais parfois, c’est important de rester flexible et de s’adapter lorsque la situation réelle n’est plus optimale.

Épuisée, après une 6e position et une très dure bataille au Championnat Pan Américain. Photo par Luke Batten

Peut-être qu'on devrait prendre une pause? Photo par Luke Batten

Ceci étant dit, après cette petite pause bien plaisante, nous avions 1 mois avant notre prochain "checkpoint" qui consistait en 2 coupes du monde en Europe à la fin Décembre. Un mois complet sans competition est quelque chose de très rare en cyclisme. Il n’est pas rare d’enfiler 5-6 semaines de competitions de suite, à raison de 2-3 courses par semaines. Dans ces moments, l'entrainement est surtout axée sur le maintient des qualités physiologiques, plutôt que sur bâtir de meilleurs aptitudes. En fait, lorsqu’on a 2 semaines complètes sans courses, cela nous paraît étrange. Donc d’avoir un mois total nous a paru comme une éternité…un vrai luxe quoi!

Un conseil en or que l'on m'a déjà donné: "Si tu veux profiter pleinement de tes vacances et en ressortir vraiment reposer, tu dois planifier les activités que tu veux faire!" Photo par Luke Batten

Avec tout ce temps devant nous pour se préparer, David et moi avons décidé d’emprunter la stratégie de l’Ultimate Fighter. Les Georges St-Pierre de ce monde, ainsi que la plupart des athlètes en sports de combat ne font que quelques combats par année. Cet horaire de compétition moins chargée leur permet de passer énormément de temps à s’entrainer et à peaufiner leurs habiletés. Ils utilisent beaucoup la stratégie des quatre “P”: Pick. Plan. Prepare. Perform. Choisir un événement, créer un plan d’action, se preparer et performer. C’est un luxe auquel nous n’avons pas souvent droit en cyclisme, mais lorsqu’on a la chance de le faire, les résultats sont souvent très concluants.

Ce mois était donc l’occasion pour nous de travailler très fort pour se construire une forme très forte, travailler sur les lacunes et du coup, bâtir une bonne confiance avant d’aller affronter les meilleures en Europe.

Au moment où j’écris ce petit texte, nous en sommes à 3 semaines de préparation et je dois avouer que j’ai mal partout et je suis super fatiguée. Dans ces moments là, ça devient un défi de focuser sur la tâche à accomplir et de bien exécuter chaque entrainement. Mais on approche la fin, donc c’est d’autant plus important de continuer à faire de mon mieux, puis de m’appliquer pour bien exécuter chacun des entrainements au meilleur de mes capacités. L'emphase sur la recuperation et la nutrition entre les entraînements prend aussi une ampleur cruciale. 

Bref, j’ai bien hâte de voir si cette bonne préparation me permettra de bien performer lors des prochaines grosses courses! Est-ce que le pas que nous avons pris vers l'arrière nous permettra d'en prendre 2 vers l'avant? Le fait de ne pas avoir eu de bonbons maintenant nous permettra d'avoir 2 bonbons plus tard? Une chose est certaine, je ne pense pas que j’aurai à me questioner lorsque je serai sur la ligne de depart de la Coupe du Monde de Namur; à mon avis, David et moi avons effectué la meilleure preparation possible!  

Par chance pour moi, David est toujours présent pour m'aider durant et entre les entrainements. C'est aussi lui qui s'occupe de toute l'organisation, comme vous pouvez voir! 

Pratiques techniques! Photo par David 

Course de cyclocross en Arizona! Ce weekend, j'ai participé à 4 courses: Pro Hommes et Femmes le Samedi et la même chose le Dimanche, suive d'une séance de musculation.  Photo par David

Avec le meilleur squad d'encouragements lors d'une course en Arizona. 

***

Recette du mois: Je n'ai pas de recette extraordinaire à partager ce mois-ci...Je vous partage donc quelques livres que j'ai bien appréciés! 
 

- A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a boy Solider, par Ishmael Beah 
Après avoir été sauvé par l'UNICEF, un garçon du Sierra Leone raconte son histoire d'avoir été enrollé comme soldat à 13 ans, lors de la guerre dans son pays. Livre déchirant par moment, mais qui ouvrent les yeux sur la réalité de certains pays et qui fait beaucoup réfléchir. 

- The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, par Amy Schumer: Autobiography hilarante écrite par la comédienne et actrice Amy Schumer. Elle raconte certains des moments les plus difficiles de sa vie avec un très bel humour. J'ai aussi trouvé intéressant de voir comment se passe la vie des comédiens et comment ils grimpent au sommet de leur art. 

- Le Sens du Combat, par Georges St-Pierre: Très bon livre sur l'éthique de travaille, l'ouverture d'esprit et le travaille d'équipe en quête de l'excellence. 

Bonne lecture :) 

Maghalie